Air date: April 26, 2009

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It's often thought that romantic love turns into feelings of friendship and companionship after years of marriage. Not so! A new study out of Stony Brook University found that many people in long term relationships are still very much in love even after 20 years of marriage.

Jeramy Shere has more in this week's Checkup.

Remember the first time you fell in love? Not just a crush, or puppy love. I mean really in love, as in butterflies in your stomach, as in all you can think about is being with him or her.

But, over time, that head over heals euphoria tends to fade. You get married, have kids, fall into a routine, and before you know it, that crazy lovin’ feeling has turned into something more tame.

But that doesn’t have to happen. At least not according to Bianca Acevedo, a psychologist at UC Santa Barbara.

"It is possible to stay in love with somebody after many years of marriage and that for those that are in marriages that are happy and un-distressed and aren't necessary intensely in love and want to be in love. I think it's good for them to know that it is something that can be achieved if they want to."

Bianca surveyed thousands of couples in short and long-term relationships. And she found that 13 percent of people she studied still had strong romantic feelings for their partner. This was true even for couples who’d been married for many years.

So what’s the trick? How can you keep love from atrophying into mere friendship?

"One thing that seems to be helpful is engaging in changing and novel activities. If things are going well in the relationship there's are no major problems this could be something helpful for increasing romantic love."

So, Bianca says, mix it up a little. Try exploring a new park, or taking a day trip to somewhere you’ve never been or even just working on puzzle together. It may seem almost too simple, but Bianca found that simply spending quality time together can be enough to re-ignite that romantic spark.

Additional Resources:

• Learn how to make make love last! From MedicineNet.

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